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False Alarms

This being my first pregnancy, I am learning everyday that I have no idea what to expect. This pertains to pregnancy, and specifically labor.
I was reminded of this this weekend, when I learned I don't really know what labor feels like. My expectations are that it will be painful and unmistakable. Two weeks ago, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt like I was getting punched in the gut. After coming to my senses, I realized that this was "fake labor." I decided this, cause real labor had to feel much worse. Two hours later, the pain stopped and I was able to go back to sleep. I told this to the midwife, and she said that these are a good thing and to embrace them.
So I kept trying to embrace the pains that are annoying and unproductive. Embrace I did, until this past Friday night. I stayed up way too late. And in baby Goulet tradition I was awakened at 2 am being punched in the gut, I felt like they were the worst cramps of my life. I at first thought that these were real contractions, then fake, and then real. By 6am, the cramps turned into actual contractions. I could feel my stomach harden and then release. Then I thought, wow this is real. No this is fake. No, this is real. I did what the midwife said and I took a bath. I got out of our bedroom so that Daniel could sleep, and went to the guest room to lay down. Thank God, for hulu. I discovered an entertaining and distracting show called "Glee."
I got to sleep a whole hour from 9am-10am. Then, I was convinced that my body hates me and that these contractions were fake. So, Daniel and I decided to take a walk, we were told that if they were real contractions that the walk could help speed things along. We walked, and walked... the contractions still stayed manageable and came every 20 minutes or so. After an hour of walking, we decided to really test things out... so we ran the last quarter mile. I discovered that I can still run and it felt good. But it did nothing.
I spent the rest of the day Saturday in mild discomfort and trying to distract myself. I also spent time praying to Jesus that these would either stop or that actual labor would start (who prays for labor? This girl.) We went to church on Saturday night, and we got prayer that labor would start.
I got to see Daniel's fathering side come out. We were praying for the baby, and other people said things like "Baby, you can come out whenever you are ready." Daniel chimed in with, "Listen baby, we love you and want to see you. So come out. Come out today." We are anxious to see the little guy, all day Daniel would put his hand on my belly and say "Water, brake in Jesus name." Though a hopeful prayer, nothing happened.
I finally gave up at 9pm with almost no sleep and a high level of annoyance, I took Tylenol PM (don't freak out, the midwife told me to.) and fell into a deep sleep.
I woke up after 12hours, and today there is nothing going on. I am not amused with the false alarms. If I'm in pain, I expect a child at the end of it.

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