We attended our first childbirth class last night, an event that neither Daniel or I was looking that forward to. I was hesitant for a few reasons, one being that the minute I put this on the calender THREE MONTHS AGO, other events happening on these specific Mondays have been coming up. Secondly, is that my husband has a condition that happens during every parenting type of class that we go to, lets call it "giggle-at-inappropriate-times disease." It's not that he is not interested in the topics, but for some reason the other parents in the classes that we go to are usually really reserved and quite. So we will sit in silence waiting for the class to begin, sit silently through the class and then leave. Daniel's response to this is to make jokes and laugh throughout the class.
Childbirth class has been no exception to this trend, and I joined him in the giggling this time. Although it hurt so bad to try to hold in my laughter, I began to have tears. All of this is thanks to our instructor, Paula.
Saturday Night Live says "thank you" to Paula for creating a new character. Paula looks and talks just like the "church lady" from Saturday Night Live. Don't remember what she is like? Here's a refresher.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnCZxLvYXI8
Paula not only looks like the church lady, but she talks like the church lady. It's like she is giving a monologue for a TV taping, but there is no camera.
Here is the highlight reel of some quotes from dear, dear Paula.....
1. Paula says,"And now for my favorite part of the body, the rectum. Rectum, I just love that word."
2. Paula demonstrates moaning. Paula moans in front of the class for a solid minute. We are talking watching a 50-something year old woman moan LOUDLY without cracking a smile. Paula finally opens her eyes to the whole class staring at her in shock and aaawww. Paul declares, "I just love moaning."
3. Paula demonstrates breathing, which for this week really just was breathing. In and out, breathing. Paula closes her eyes and sits in a chair and breathes for 60 seconds, while we all watch her.
4. Paula recounts some of her own birth stories, sharing that with her last child. "What felt best was squeezing my husbands head in a headlock."
5. Paula teaches us about Kegels. Paula encourages us to practice doing Kegels at every red light. Then Paula shares, "I'm doing Kegels right now." Then Paula proceeds to go around the room and look at each of us in the eye as she is clenching and releasing her vaginal muscles.
Childbirth class has been no exception to this trend, and I joined him in the giggling this time. Although it hurt so bad to try to hold in my laughter, I began to have tears. All of this is thanks to our instructor, Paula.
Saturday Night Live says "thank you" to Paula for creating a new character. Paula looks and talks just like the "church lady" from Saturday Night Live. Don't remember what she is like? Here's a refresher.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnCZxLvYXI8
Paula not only looks like the church lady, but she talks like the church lady. It's like she is giving a monologue for a TV taping, but there is no camera.
Here is the highlight reel of some quotes from dear, dear Paula.....
1. Paula says,"And now for my favorite part of the body, the rectum. Rectum, I just love that word."
2. Paula demonstrates moaning. Paula moans in front of the class for a solid minute. We are talking watching a 50-something year old woman moan LOUDLY without cracking a smile. Paula finally opens her eyes to the whole class staring at her in shock and aaawww. Paul declares, "I just love moaning."
3. Paula demonstrates breathing, which for this week really just was breathing. In and out, breathing. Paula closes her eyes and sits in a chair and breathes for 60 seconds, while we all watch her.
4. Paula recounts some of her own birth stories, sharing that with her last child. "What felt best was squeezing my husbands head in a headlock."
5. Paula teaches us about Kegels. Paula encourages us to practice doing Kegels at every red light. Then Paula shares, "I'm doing Kegels right now." Then Paula proceeds to go around the room and look at each of us in the eye as she is clenching and releasing her vaginal muscles.
Does Paula have short hair? We had a lady named Paula teach us the Bradley Method. She had 4-5 heavily pregnant ladies and our husbands in her small non-air conditioned apartment where she offered us lukewarm water--no ice--and I remember sock puppet-like props for the uterus and baby. Could it be the same Paula???
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